Day Twelve!

BREAKFAST:  Fruit salad (raspberries, blueberries, strawberries)
LUNCH:  Almonds and a salad with no dressing
DINNER:  Fried eggs with spinach and guacamole

I forgot my lunch again today.  Arrrgh.

The bigger issue today was that I woke up with a pounding headache and absolutely no energy whatsoever.  It truly didn't help that there was someone outside my apartment revving their engine at shortly before 6AM, waking me up out of a dead sleep and leaving me wide awake and terrified that I was being attacked or something.  (I don't know what would be attacking me.  Some sort of car monster?  Who knows.)  But I could tell that I was a different tired than if I had just not gotten enough sleep.  When I got to work, my legs just did not want to climb the one flight of stairs that it took for me to get to my department.  Now, I might be out of shape, but I walk those stairs multiple times every day without getting winded, so this was downright ridiculous.

It didn't take very long to get to the bottom of what was going on, though.  After discussing with my mom, coworkers, and Whit and doing a little bit of digging, this isn't uncommon.  That much I knew, though -- I just didn't expect it when I was nearing the end of week two.  The issue was simple, though: I'm not getting enough good calories and fats.

As I thought about it more, it kind of hit me in the face with how much sense it made.  Whenever I've done diets before, they have always been about counting calories or points and I always hated that.  One of the thing that appealed to me most about the Whole30 challenge was that there wasn't any counting.  You ate until your full and that was that.  What I didn't think about was how I wasn't eating all of the crap I used to eat.  Eating pizza until your full still fills you with a lot of calories.  Eating stuffed green peppers that are stuffed with tomatoes and very lean burger means that there aren't as many calories and when you have them for three meals in a row without any nuts or other foods with good fat for energy, it kind of comes together.

I'm glad that I had a great support system that helped me figure this out.  After work I went to the grocery store and bought some avocados and sweet potatoes.  I'm not a big fan of the latter, but I'm thinking that I might make a kind of hash brown out of them or shred them up to add them into my egg muffins for next week, per some suggestions that I saw on the Whole9 and Whole30 forums.  Getting those good fats in early in the morning helps give a boost of energy.

So my fingers are crossed that I can get my energy levels back into shape soon!  One unfortunate side effect of being so tired has been that I've just been downright cranky and that's not cool.  I don't think I've taken it out on anyone, but I've been a bit whiny and no one wants to deal with that.  At least I can recognize it and try to suppress it, though!

Day Ten & Eleven!

DAY TEN
BREAKFAST:  2 egg muffins, strawberries
LUNCH:  Cucumber, tomato, black olive, and onion salad w/ balsamic vinegar
SNACK:  Carrots
DINNER:  Stuffed peppers

DAY ELEVEN
BREAKFAST:  2 egg muffins, raspberries and blueberries
LUNCH:  Leftover stuffed peppers
SNACK:  Carrots
DINNER:  And again... stuffed peppers because omgsogood

Once again, I forgot to blog last night.  In my defense, I sort of just got to the point where I couldn't look at my computer anymore and instead just passed out in my bed.  I've been very tired the past few days, even with my extended sleep over the weekend.  I'm not really sure what's going on, but I'm pretending it isn't happening.

Per the Whole30 timeline, days 10 and 11 are the days that people are more likely to give up with the challenge.  I'm glad to say that I did not.  The temptation was there, but I carried on.  During lunch today, a coworker asked what I was missing or craving the most.  The only thing that I can honestly say that I've been craving is cheese, which I knew was going to be the case.  I love cheese and I cook with it a lot, so not having it is kind of a bummer.  But just in this past little more than a week, my eyes have been opened to a lot of different dishes that I never would have thought about making before.  I always just ate sandwiches and pasta because it's what I had and I thought was easiest, but the recipes I've been making have required very little prep time.  As much as I love to cook, when I get home from work there are days where it is the last thing I want to do.  I was worried going into this that my being tired and not wanting to prepare meals would be my downfall in this, but between finding quick dishes to prepare and making things ahead of time it's worked out well.

But, I'm not even halfway through yet, so no patting on the back just yet!

sleepy beagle because i'm missing my oliver <3

Day Eight & Nine! happy weekend~

DAY EIGHT
BREAKFAST:  2 fried eggs with chili and spinach
LUNCH:  Chicken/Beef El Zarape w/ guacamole and pico de gallo from El Mezcal
DINNER:  Slow Cooker Kalua Pig (without the Hawaiian salt)

DAY NINE
BREAKFAST:  2 fried eggs with spinach and mushrooms
LUNCH:  2 fried eggs with spinach and mushrooms
SNACK:  Bowl of grapes
DINNER:  Leftover Kalua Pig and green beans

I completely forgot to blog yesterday -- oops.  I also almost forgot to blog today -- double oops!

I spent the evening getting my breakfast together for the week.  I made egg muffin cups with spinach, mushrooms, and ground turkey and I'm looking forward to them.  I love eggs and I like boiled eggs, but it will be nice to have a different kind of egg to shake things up.

All in all, the weekend was very mellow, which I liked.  My brother and I saw "The Lego Movie" on Saturday, which was great.  There were a ton of kids in the theater, which can normally irritate me, but they weren't particularly obnoxious.  The worst was when I saw "Hunger Games" for the first time and right behind us was a mother with her daughter that couldn't have been more than four-years-old.  When she wasn't asking questions loudly, she was crying at the scary scenes and... bah.  :P

For the first time in a long time, I actually slept in this morning.  I stayed up until around 1AM, which really isn't too late given that I usually stay up until midnight during the week as I don't get up until 8AM, and then slept until nearly 11AM.  It's very rare that I can sleep in past 9AM on weekends, but apparently I was rather tired today.  I've been feeling it all day as well, so I'm hoping that I'm just catching up on sleep that was missing from somewhere and I'm not getting sick.  Getting sick would be laaame.

My fingers are crossed that this week will be better than last week.  Positive thinking!

Day Seven - not-really-spaghetti

BREAKFAST:  Carrots
LUNCH:  A bowl of chili and three pieces of haddock (random or what?)
SNACK:  Blueberries
DINNER:  Spaghetti squash with spaghetti sauce (turkey burger, green peppers, onions, and mushrooms)

Spaghetti squash was a new and exciting experiment.  I've always liked most squash in general, but I've never had spaghetti squash before.  Given that my diet pre-Whole30 was 90% consisted of pasta, I was excited to give this a shot.  While I knew it wouldn't be exactly like spaghetti, I'm up for anything.

I was pleasantly surprised.  It definitely doesn't have the taste or texture of pasta, but it's close enough in the latter that I didn't mind it.  I found that it really doesn't have much of a taste at all, so I think that when I cook up my leftovers I might put the squash and the sauce in a pan and cook it up that way in hopes that the squash will soak up some of the flavor.  All in all, I can't complain.

Here's to trying new things!

[picture from here]

Day Six - the restaurant challenge

BREAKFAST:  Grapes and cashews
LUNCH:  Leftover chili
SNACK:  Carrots
DINNER:  Chicken/Beef El Zarape w/ guacamole and pico de gallo from El Mezcal

We were supposed to have crazy weather today and I suppose we actually did; it's late February in Wisconsin and it was raining with thunder and lightning near the end of my shift.  Because it is February in Wisconsin, all of that quickly froze and the world became a skating rink and we're supposed to be getting some snow, but all in all -- much better than the 8-10" that they were worried about yesterday.  (Although, I'll admit that I'd prefer snow over ice.  I'm much better at driving in snow.)

Today was my first challenge of going out to eat since starting Whole30.  All of my meals have otherwise been cooked at home, so I was a bit nervous about going to a restaurant and hope that I could find something to eat.  In the end, I was able to find something that tasted all kinds of amazing; I just had to order it with no beans, cheese, or rice.  (Naturally I forgot to ask for it to have no cheese at first and needed to ask them to make it again; I felt like the worst person ever and probably didn't leave a big enough tip.)  In the end, I think that the hardest part was not having two-for-one margaritas.  I've only had to do that once before when I was on a litany of antibiotics for bronchitis.  I made it through, though.  High fives.

All in all, I'm glad that I was able to find something that I liked, because A) it makes me a bit less wary about going to other restaurants and B) I would hate to have to give up Thursdays at El Mez, even if it's just for a few weeks.  The food is great, but the company is even better and it's the latter that I go for.  Okay, I go for the food, too.  :)

In other news, I am officially in the "omg so tired" stage of Whole30.  I felt it slightly yesterday, but today it's just been intense.  There were times I wanted nothing more than to just crawl under my desk and sleep there until 5:30, but managed to resist the urge.  Knowing that it's only temporary is what's getting me through the phase.  There's a light at the end of the tunnel, I just know it.

[picture from here]

Day Five! zzzzzz

BREAKFAST:  One boiled egg, carrots
LUNCH:  Lemon/dill chicken, blueberries
DINNER:  Chocolate chili (go make this right now)

It was very difficult getting out of bed this morning.  It hardly helped that I've gotten into this weird habit of waking up at 5:30AM for no apparent reason.  This morning when it happened I was convinced that it was Saturday.  My disappointment was epic when I realized that it was only Wednesday.  Ugh.

I survived the day, however.  I had other plans for dinner, but chili just sounded amazing, especially when coupled with the dumping of snow we're supposed to get tomorrow.  I'm still holding off hope that it won't be as bad as it sounds like it's going to be, but that hope is feeble.  February in Wisconsin generally means one thing and that one thing is snow.

I'm glad that I don't own a scale, because I feel a general curiosity that would likely leave me giving into temptation and stepping on it.  I know that it's not been nearly long enough for this change in eating to have made a big difference and I also know that it's against the rules for a reason, but still.  The thought is there.  I'll stand strong, though!  Mostly because, as I said, I don't own a scale.  Makes it a little hard to weigh oneself without one.

[image from here]

Day Four! stupid cupcakes

BREAKFAST:  Two boiled eggs, handful of baby carrots
LUNCH:  Leftover buffalo chicken, fruit salad
SNACK:  Cashews
DINNER:  Eggs, ham, spinach/mushrooms, topped with hollandaise sauce

This evening I had my largest hurdle yet: having to make cupcakes for work.  I made these cupcakes in particular and they became a massive headache.  Note to anyone who might make them in the future: where it says to fill the cones almost full with batter?  Don't.  Make sure there's some room.  Otherwise they will just overflow and look a mess.  This only further supports my theory that food bloggers tweak their recipes so no one can make something as pretty as they can.

I'm hoping that they'll still taste good; I don't know, of course, since they're clearly not Whole30 friendly.  :)

Day Three! at least it's almost over?

BREAKFAST:  An orange :(
LUNCH:  A "salad" that amounted to some ham, cucumbers, and eggs in a bowl
DINNER:  Paleo-friendly buffalo chicken, green beans, and blackberries

Today could have been better.

I started the day with a headache, which just sort of set the tone.  Before going to my car, I took a bag of garbage and a bag of recyclables out to the cans and dumpster.  My landlords don't seem to believe in the use of salt, so I fell twice on the snow/ice that has accumulated on our walkways -- the second time twisting my ankle and landing on my bag of recyclables, breaking open the bag and scattering them all over the place.  I got to work just in time, only to realize that I left my lunch in the fridge at home.  Curses!

Lucky for me, my mom got me back on track (after I nearly started to sob at her desk because of the poopy morning) and I managed.  I was pretty hungry by the end of the day, but man... I sure appreciated my dinner.

Tonight I cooked up a ton of chicken that I had living in my freezer for a while.  I didn't have anything to freeze the chicken separately, so I left it to thaw and had to cook it all up in one go.  I made the buffalo chicken that I linked above, cut some of it into strips and just cooked it plain with a little dill for my salads, and then tossed some with lemon.  I'm now pretty darn prepared in the chicken front for a while, which is great.  While I love to cook, sometimes I just want to come home and have something quick and easy which is how I fall back on stuff that isn't the best for me.

I didn't do pilates again tonight because my ankle and knee are hurting.  Tomorrow, though.  No excuses, darnit.

(gif dedicated to Laurel!)

Day Two! what hangover?

BREAKFAST:  Fried eggs, spinach, and mushrooms
LUNCH:  Fruit salad, boiled eggs
DINNER:  Leftover salmon and steamed broccoli and cauliflower

Per the Whole30 timeline, it's around about today the the "hangover" kicks in.  I did feel a bit headachey this morning, but I quenched that right away with a little pain reliever and drinking a lot of water.  I don't know if that was just "why am I up at 8AM it's the weekend Jamie oh god why" or what.  I think it did help that I really didn't do anything today (does loading the dishwasher count? because it should), so tomorrow might be a whole new hurdle.

I've had a lot of eggs in the past two days and I'm vaguely worried that I'll get sick of them.  Eggs are kind of my favorite, though, and there are a lot of ways to prepare them.  I'm even finding that when I add in veggies, I don't mind that there isn't any cheese.  Who knew?

I didn't do pilates tonight and I already feel guilty over it.  Tomorrow I'll be back with a vengeance.

... unless I'm "hungover".  Then I might just nap under my desk at work.

Day One! here we goooo!

BREAKFAST:  I didn't actually eat breakfast today, which seems like a poor way of starting out my Whole30.  I wasn't feeling all that great this morning, though, so I was afraid that eating anything else might make me more queasy.
LUNCH:  Fried eggs, spinach, and mushrooms
DINNER:  Salmon, steamed broccoli and cauliflower, and fruit salad

Although I can't say I'm overly surprised, given that I have looked at the timeline a million times on the Whole30 website, today went rather well!  I was without internet for most of the afternoon (thanks, Charter!), but I used that time to take a nap watch Supernatural and cut up veggies and fruit.  I didn't drink as much water as I would have liked, but I'm going to be working on that.

I did all of my grocery shopping last night after work and I think that it went pretty well.  I spent a bit more than I had been hoping I would, but I figure that I did buy a number of staples on top of what I'm going to need for this week's meals so it evens out.  I'm looking forward to what's in store for this week in terms of planned meals and I hope that it gets me through what I'm sure is going to be a rough challenge.

I've found that everyone I've told about doing Whole30 has been incredibly supportive, which is great.  In the past, I've always kept diets (not that this is a diet, of course; lifestyle change!) to myself in case I failed, but I think that actually putting it out there is going to help me.  It's providing a support system that I didn't necessarily have before.

I'm feeling good!  I can do this.  :)

oh-em-gee pilates

I've always wanted to get into pilates before, but I found it to be a struggle -- something that I fully blame on my high school gym class.

There are many things that I remember from gym in high school, most of them centering around hating being there or making headache related excuses to lay on the uncomfortable cot that they had set up in the office for an hour rather than don tennis shoes and play sports that I never completely understood anyway.  There were some good memories, like the time a bunch of us got so far behind in cross country skiing that we missed much of our next class or the jokes that were always made when the bowling unit came about or even the it's-only-awkward-if-you-let-it-be-awkward rite of passage that was freshman square dancing (burgers and fries and cherry pies, do-si-do promenade), but mostly I hated it.  It was only for a semester for three years, though, and it wasn't as though I was alone in the torture.  Misery loves company, after all.

One thing that I will never forget was the pilates unit during freshman year.  I think that it was only a few days long, so calling it a "unit" might be stretching it.  I don't recall what the boys were doing during that time that we girls were shut in the padded wrestling room; I assumed it was something awesome like gladiatorial combat or skydiving.  What I do recall is that having to try to follow a pilates video with a group of my peers in the middle of the school day was not my definition of a cool time.  I also recall that our teacher at the time seemed to have the thing memorized as she did the exercises alongside us.  As much as I didn't like gym class, I have to say that the gym teacher we had my freshman year was pretty badass.  You have to give some credit to someone that would run the mile alongside us, if only because it meant that she wasn't really keeping track of how many laps we did so we could skip one and she'd be none the wiser.  Not that I would do such a thing.

Anyway -- pilates.  I was introduced to Blogilates a few days ago by a friend (hi, Whit!) and I was intrigued so I tried it out for the first time today.  I liked the pacing of the beginners videos and the fact that the instructor really talks you through them, explains what's being worked, how to get the most out of each move, and is encouraging, but not annoyingly so.  I especially enjoyed when doing one move that took a bit longer, she gave a little anecdote about doing pilates at the airport to stay warm.  She's easy to relate to and approachable, almost as though you're being taught by a friend and I like that.

As I get into Whole30 (we're getting closer to the start!), I am looking to pair the healthy food choices with exercise.  This is all about getting healthy and while I can eat well, I know that I also need to get active to really optimize this.  Once the weather is no longer frigid as heck, I'm looking forward to making use of the path near my apartment that follows the river, but until then I'm going to be sticking with the pilates.  I'd love to get a gym membership or even a treadmill of my own, but both are a bit out of my price range at the moment.  Someday!  Oh, someday.

And so it begins!

In a week I am going to begin my Whole30 journey.

I have been overweight more or less my entire life.  I know that it wasn't my whole life, because I've seen pictures when I was quite young where I wasn't, but I've always been some version of chubby or curvy (dependent upon my age at the time) my entire life.  It wasn't until recent years, more or less since I was in my early twenties, that I really started to realize it.  Yes, when I was in high school I did know that I wasn't the thinnest girl around, but I never felt as though I was the largest either.  My weight had a tendency to fluctuate depending on how busy I was, what was going on in my life, and so on.  This is still the case today, but it doesn't make too much of a difference in my eyes, given that I am the heaviest that I have ever been.

While I could be generally happy with myself at whatever size, the one thing that I am unhappy with is how it is hurting my health.  I am a relatively healthy person now, but as I creep toward thirty, I can feel the changes and I know that too many of them can be attributed to the excess weight that I carry on a daily basis.  Being from a family with a history of diabetes, this scares me and I am ready to do something about it.  I could sit back and be upset with myself and what I have allowed myself to do to my body (which, admittedly, is what I have been doing the past too many years of my life), but I'm finally ready to do something about it.  I don't just need to do this to become healthy, but I want to -- wanting to do it, I think, is the key.  As much as I know that I need to make changes, it's the desire that will keep me going.

I will begin Whole30 on Saturday, February 15.  I'll admit that I'm nervous!  This is a rather large lifestyle change, but it's one that I'm ready to do.  My cupboards were already rather bare due to a great need to go grocery shopping and I'm excited to fill them with healthy foods, rather than boxes of macaroni and cheese and Ramen.  I'm excited to begin planning meals, researching different recipes, and having fun with experimenting with new foods.  I know that this isn't going to be easy, not even in the slightest.  But I have confidence in myself and have a steady support system that will see me through.

So... here goes nothing!